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Captain's Blog: Bard Date 3212020


I didn't update yesterday because I was trying to walk a line between documenting an experience and living it. Yesterday was my last full day on Bard's campus as a student. I didn't want to lose any moment of it to sitting and writing it down. If you've been following up to this point, there are probably a few things you're wondering about, so the quick update is that everyone has a plan, and the whole crew will have reached our final destinations by Monday. Yesterday evening Chief of Security, Navigator, and I took a hike to the waterfall, one of my favorite spots on campus. It was one of the first spots on campus I visited back in L&T. After that we hung out in Pilot's room with her while she packed for a while. Then, knowing I was going to leave early the next morning, I said goodbye.

Because of the leaving early my night probably should've ended there, but instead I went to my Communication Officer's room. We hung out and he made us dinner. He made salad that I ate out of desire rather than obligation, which is an accomplishment in itself. Maybe I should've made him the Ship's Steward, honestly, but it's too late to go back now. We had a movie night we'd been talking about having for weeks but hadn't gotten around to, and I only went home to get to bed. This morning, he woke up early to see me off. We spent the hour and a half before my Admiral arrived with the escape pod laying on my bed while he played guitar, more asleep than awake.

This blog is largely a Star Trek themed endeavor, but I was a Harry Potter kid growing up too. I'm a proud Gryffindor, and I've been trying to deal with this whole situation with the bravery that should imply. I have a theory about the Hogwarts houses, though. I don't want to go on a long tangent, so I'm not going to try to prove my point too hard, but I think the houses are less about who you already are and more about what you value, what you aspire to. I value bravery above most other values because, without bravery, I don't think you can practice any other value consistently. That's why I'm a Gryffindor.

Leaving campus today was hard. It was both easier and harder than I thought it was going to be. With the past week, and yesterday in particular, I had just enough closure. It was still difficult knowing that I wasn't going to come back, that I'd had my last day in a college classroom without realizing that was what it was. I know that Bard isn't quite a magical school, but it was definitely my Hogwarts. Throughout college, I've experienced feelings of belonging previously unprecedented in my life. Leaving that behind is something I was low-key terrified of when I was going to do it at the right time. I wasn't sure, before now, how to handle it early.

The thing is, Hogwarts is always waiting to welcome you home. It was a line from the series that became a rallying cry for fans who grew up with Harry Potter, that through books, TV, fanfiction, you name it, Hogwarts is always waiting to welcome you home. I have to believe that if Bard is my Hogwarts, there will always be a way back to it for me.

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